Has your partner ever told you, ‘‘I can’t give you what you need’’?

Sometimes it's not: "I don't love you."
It's: "I don't know how to do this."

Some people grew up learning that emotions were something to hide.

They weren't taught how to talk about feelings.
They weren't taught how to handle conflict.
They weren't taught that being vulnerable could be safe.

Now, when you want to talk about what's wrong, they shut down.

You say: "I feel hurt. I need you."
And they hear: "You're failing me."

So...

They pull away.
They get defensive.
They go silent.

and you're left thinking: "Why doesn't he care?" Here's the thing:

His shutting down doesn't automatically mean he doesn't love you.
It may mean he doesn't know how to stay connected when emotions get intense.
And yes, there's a reason for it.

But listen carefully: A reason is not an excuse! 🙅‍♀️

You can have compassion for someone's past without abandoning your own needs.
You can understand why he shuts down and still say:

"I need a partner who is willing to work on this with me."

You are not asking for too much just because someone doesn't know how to give it to you.

Healthy relationships aren't about finding someone who has no wounds. They're about finding someone who is willing to face them. And that includes you, too.

Your patterns matter.
His patterns matter.
And both can change.

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✨ If you're struggling to understand your relationship patterns and want to build a healthier connection, I can help. Send a message to learn more about 1:1 relationship coaching with me.

💌 contact@amoreacoaching.com

Relationship Coach - Marta

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